British Superbike Racer
Joined: 05 Oct 2010
|Posted: Mon Aug 12, 2013 11:28 am Post subject: speed traps
|Bob was driving home over the Golden Gate Bridge at about 90mph.
Wouldn't you know a cop jumped out and clocked him with radar. Bob
pulled over like a good citizen; recalling Rodney King and recent
illegal alien incidents.
The cop walked up to the window and said, "You know how fast you were
Bob thought for a second and asked, "Uhhh, over 55?"
"93mph son! 93mph in a 55 zone!"
"But if you already knew," replied Bob, "Why did you ask me?"
Ignoring Bob, the officer continued, in his normal charming fashion,
"That's speeding and you're getting a ticket and a fine!" The cop
took a good look at Bob and said, "You don't even look like you have
a job! Why,... I've never seen anyone so scruffy in my entire life!"
Bob recanted, "I've got a job! I have a good, well paying job!"
The cop leaned in the window, and with the smell of day old donuts on
his breath, said, "What kind of a job would a bum like you have?!?"
"I'm a Pussy stretcher!!!" replied Bob.
"What you say, BOY?!?" asked the patrolman.
"I'm a Pussy stretcher!!!"
Of course the cop asked, "What does a Pussy stretcher do?"
Bob explained, "Girls call me up and say they want to be stretched,
so I go over there and start with a couple of fingers, then a couple
more, and then one whole hand, then two. Then I pull them farther and
farther apart until it's six feet across."
The cop, absorbed with the images in his mind, let down his guard and
asked, "What the hell do you do with a six foot cunt?"
Bob nonchalantly commented, "You give it a radar detector and stick
it at the end of a bridge!
Rust is lighter than carbon fibre!